Woke up scared

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I woke up in the wee hours of the morning, terribly, terribly frightened. Unlike most of my dreams that have a fantastical plot in play, this one was bereft of any story. Just dread, just fear. I put myself back to sleep, I've gotten good at that.

My mortality is very present these days. Two weeks from now I may not be on this chair outside the Hart House, basking in the gentle dawn as the city crawls up to its regular, banal pace. Two weeks from now I may not be here... but for now I'm trying to be present, trying to be here, enjoying my health, my relationships, my life, every placid moment of these...

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