my romantic tryst with cancer

Mum left to fly back to India today. Right now I miss her very, very much... The house seems empty. It's going to be different waking up tomorrow and she's not here. I couldn't have done this without her. She flew in just before the operation and stayed till she knew I'd be all right. As 'old' as I am, I'll always be her baby. Over the past weeks she has nursed me back to health, been patient with me like only a mother can, and we've been able to spend some good time together too. I'm lucky, very, very lucky to have a mother that wonderful.

I've been silent because I've been somewhat occupied with matters at hand. I'll elaborate on it at length, but recent meetings with the specialists have brought up a few surprises and questions. Given that I had two slightly different cancers on either lobe, there is no definite solution to what happens next. Were either to have been found alone or just any one that was the size of both put together, it would not merit radioactive iodine treatment. However with two, I fall into a grey zone and the default diagnosis is to err on the side of caution and nuke! What's not that clear however is the longer-term effects of the radiation in creating altogether new cancers with implications far more severe than the one I hope I've gotten rid of. The risks, though small, are present, and the choice is mine to make. Do I treat what I have with every means possible and worry about the future, or do I take a gentler approach now, risk recurrence, and cross my fingers that I&

I've just poured my last container down the sink until I know more. I'm in the midst of doing a lot of research about the efficacy of the radioactive iodine treatment that I have to make a decision on, and it's turning up a lot of interesting information. The last few days have not been great. I'll address them in a subsequent post, but from what I've learned so far, and this is pure speculation (but not an absurd hypothesis either), that my i ncreased use of soy over the past year, in an effort to be healthier, may have been the cause of this sorry saga. The Controversy Over Soy and Thyroid Health

In another week I'll be back at work, testing my ability to resume where I left off, but I know things will have changed and I'm not going back to where I was, literally or metaphorically. As Heraclitus said many centuries ago, “You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you” - I may step back into the same river, but the water in the river would have flowed on and will be different, and so will I. I can sense my relationship with my synthetic thyroid hormones will not be an easy one. Yes, I was warned about it, but that doesn't make it easier. Differences from the datum either mean inadequacy or excess. As the artificial substance replaces my natural store, a process that will be near complete in another week, I can feel its impact. I sense it is lower than what I need- my skin is dry and tight, even when lavished with moisturisers; my infamous stubble takes days to surface (it used to just take hours); and most of all is my ene

I showered! Hardly newsworthy, but after 2 long weeks I risked running water on me, and it felt wonderful! I doubt the seams will open again and spill blood, but I still need to be careful. Just that. With a week's stubble shaved off and a full body bath to boot, I look like the old me!

This card from Barb which I got today is perfect! Irreverent, topical, and had me in splits. Geoff was joking just a few days ago about how my mum should get me a dog cone with a bit of a 'zap' feature on it to check me if I wandered too far from my bed or moved my neck more than I should (because I was).  

The stitches came out today. Taking the dressing off hurt more than the stitches, but with one little snip I was stitch-less. I thought there would be blood and gore, but it's just a neat little line. A bit swollen, somewhat sore, and once it's healed I'll buy you a drink if you can tell it apart from my wrinkles. The results of the pathology were hardly a surprise- cancer all right, and then some. Unlike the ultrasounds that had shown suspicious cellular activity on just one lobe, both lobes of my thyroid had cancerous nodules- one a piece (it's all about equity). I'm glad I listened to the surgeon when she said something to the effect of 'get the entire thyroid out or you'll always be worrying about what's happening with the other half'. The "dominant" tumour  (1 cm) on the left lobe of papillary type, and secondary tumour (0.7 cm) on the right lobe of papillary carcinoma, follicular variant. As much as we might have wanted to hear some