Sunday, July 13, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
"I saw a movie with my parents earlier today called Enough Said. It was a pretty good film. A few lines in it stayed with me though. It was one of those moments that something holds you, because you're open to it, and perhaps you need to hear it.
The female protagonist in the movie is symptomatic of our generation. She's single, divorced, a wonderful person, searching for a partner, smarting still about her past, trying to live her life fully... but in her effort to protect herself, and a few bad miscalculations, she fatally undermines a very promising relationship. (I'm not a movie buff by any measure, but I wanted to give you a bit of context.)
After the she's messed up their relationship, her now-former love asks her
"why?" [she acted out the way she did]
"I wanted to protect myself", she replies
"and what about protecting us?" he asks back
and therein lies the heart of the human condition
what about protecting us?
We go to great lengths to protect ourselves, and with each hurt, we tend to find more ways to protect ourselves-- financially, physically, recreationally... but the one that is possibly the most important-- emotionally. We hesitate to give up that fear, lest we get hurt again. We are our worst enemies.
In my last relationship, I think I tried, in all that we went through and experienced, to "protect us". What I didn't realise was that I was the only one doing that. When we ended it, the hurt wasn't about regretting that I didn't protect myself, but about being disappointed at the end that I hadn't been protected, and more importantly, had purposely ignored that reality. We might have loved one another, but we were not right for each other. More importantly, he was not the right person for me.
I look back, and there are many points at which I should have known. I can't do it all over again, and I can't absolve myself of responsibility either, but I know what I need to feel the next time around-- "protected", by my partner, too.
One can never measure these things, or value them, or weigh whether it is enough, but one can know the presence of it, and learn to recognise the absence of it too.
To sleep at night, knowing that you're looking out for the people you love, and as you drift to sleep that you're looked out for too, especially by the person who lies beside you, and breathes gently into the space, and into the memories, and into the life that you share."
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
|on my fridge door|
A selection of Maya Angelou's quotes, collated by The Guardian.
"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option."
"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."
"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."
"I do not trust people who don't love themselves and yet tell me, 'I love you.' There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt."
"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."
"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."
"Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
"I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass."
"The love of the family, the love of the person can heal. It heals the scars left by a larger society. A massive, powerful society."
"Courage is the most important of all the virtues because without courage, you can't practice any other virtue consistently."
"Nothing will work unless you do."
"It's one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody."
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
Saturday, May 24, 2014
I'm staggered, by how we (as in people) can let so much come in the way of something as simple and honest as love. The purity of grief, the honesty of tears, the willingness to love.
We are our worst enemies, just as we are our best friends.
I'm sitting with these feelings.
Aware of age, of time, of stories that are being told, and of my own.
This will have to hold them for tonight....
Monday, May 19, 2014
a movement between the lake, its sand
and the horizon where lake becomes cloud.
Between those lines our world’s
a thin wash of muted tones, beige
and gray with a hint of white,
almost abstract, until the dancer
steps out into the pool.
She makes the whole thing real.
- Keith Taylor in after James McNeill Whistler, 1865
Monday, April 7, 2014
Wherever a flower goes it sheds its fragrance.
So also spread your love wherever you go.
Try to live your life like that.
Wherever you go, just spread your love.
Just keep your candle of love going.
Wherever you find a candle unlit,light it up.
Get it going everywhere.
There's no other way than that.
Remember this principle.
Hold on to this principle.
All answers lie with love.
Suffering is all that's left after losing love.
- Swami Kripalu
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."
- Marianne Williamson
Thursday, February 6, 2014
"Try and put your finger on the solid thing and it scattered into separate worlds."
"... this past would have to be dragged into the future, because the present had buckled under me, like a badly made chair."
"... a man may know himself, but he prides himself on his character, his integrity -- the word says it all -- integrity -- we use it to mean virtue, but it means wholeness too, and which of us is that?"
Friday, January 17, 2014
Monday, November 11, 2013
As I sit here, trying to mediate instead of just letting go, I can hear a million hearts across the world break even while they heal.
Winter arrived a long time ago, but it takes a brush with ice for the skin to know it's here.
This bus trundles on, and all of us, strangers to each other, watch the world pass us by, all unaware that we share more than we don't...