my romantic tryst with cancer

I never saw so sweet a face As that I stood before. My heart has left its dwelling-place And can return no more. - John Clare

So much of who we are, is about what we've experienced, and who we've experienced it with. In every partnership, in every relationship, we must acknowledge that there are always more than the two of us in the room. Standing around us, are the ghosts of those that have come before-- the ghosts of those who have hurt us, who have loved us, those who we have made plans with and those who disappointed us, those who are no more, and those who still survive. Those who have touched us in ways we only know later on in life in a moment of apparent happiness, surprise or grief. We need to recognise those ghosts in the room. We need to hear their voices lest we forget ourselves, but also put them at the distance that they belong so that we might know ourselves. And then patiently remind ourselves, that sometimes, that most times, it isn't about the person you are sitting across from, the person you are loving or wondering if you love, or holding or lying with, or talking to or